Simple To Complex Sentences
- The dog ate.
- The dog ate noisily.
- Last night, the dog ate noisily.
- Last night, in the kitchen, the dog ate noisily.
- Last night, in the kitchen, the pig-like dog ate noisily.
I am a student at in Uru Mānuka. In 2020 I was a year 7 and in 2021 I will be a year 8. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
and this is why we don't have a dog hahah. Well written Dylan
ReplyDeleteHahaha Thanks Mum
ReplyDeleteAwesome, Dylan! Thanks for sharing your work from the writing lesson. I like how you highlighted the new parts each time. My only feedback would be to check #5, as the ending is running off the page. It would be great to be able to read the sentence in it's entirety!
ReplyDelete- Miss Birtch
There you go Miss Birtch...
DeleteI fixed it!
Dylan
ReplyDeleteI love to see this sort of development.. I am a bit of a creative writer myself. Your development of the writing starts to add interest as the complexity increases. I'd love to see what you would add next with this sentence. What might a next sentence be?
Hi Mr Sutton
DeleteThanks for commenting!
I think my next sentence would be why the dog was eating noisily eg. Last night, in the kitchen, the pig-like dog ate noisily because he hadn't been fed for ages.
Dylan
DeleteWonderful.. you can see the richness developing in the story when you do this. What next?
I am honestly not sure what to do next.
DeleteI think if we add more to the sentence it would become a paragraph.
But if we did add something else I think it would be what.
Eg. Last night, in the kitchen, the pig-like dog ate mashed up chicken noisily because he hadn't been fed for ages.
Dylan
DeleteMy apologies for not being clear.. I wasn't suggesting adding more to the sentence. I was wondering what a next sentence might look like? i.e., how could you continue the story? Great work...
Awesome work Dylan. And great to see it recognized by your teachers. I didnt think our dog was "pig-like", but she does eat noisily!
ReplyDelete